NOT INVITED

Story Shared for #MyMindOurStory by Amath Diouf

Find Amath on Instagram @amachuuf

It’s been said that everyone experiences intrusive thoughts, thoughts, images, or ideas that aren’t just unwelcome, they’re downright “not invited to the party.” Because these thoughts can kill the vibe, they can cause distress, anxiety, and can become obsessions that can be hard to manage.

It’s like having a bully whisper in your ear all the things cringeworthy! Sometimes that bully can be brushed off and ignored and other times it feels like there’s only so much that one can take before they have to confront the bully. 

Whether it was work, school, or things at home, nothing gave me more stress than these intrusive thoughts. I’d be more mentally exhausted than anything at the end of the day. 

Even though intrusive thoughts aren’t something that can ever be controlled, there are ways that I can lessen the effect they have on my life. These steps are quite the endeavor as I’ve come to find unlearning compulsions to these thoughts are way harder than learning something new.

Out of the darkness that riddles my mind, there have been and continue to be glimpses of light that overtake the darkest of shadows. That light has come in many forms. Journaling, for example, is good for me. It’s been beneficial to write down my thoughts and emotions on paper and make sense of the jumble in my mind. Being able to channel my emotions in a healthy way when going through anxiety about these intrusive thoughts is helping me cope better. Praying, meditating, breathing exercises, and talking to someone about how I feel have also played big roles in my life and are other ways that I’ve tried to manage these intrusive experiences. 

To go full circle, it’s also nice to know that I’m not alone in this mental battle. Everyone experiences these intrusive thoughts and that alone is a unifying factor that makes the world a little easier to navigate through.

Stepping into myself and finding ways to better manage my anxiety to these thoughts is helping me connect with myself and with others. It’s a unifying light that builds empathy and lessens the stigma that mental illness is not something of the human experience. Challenging these thoughts and coping with anxiety in a healthy way is a journey in and of itself. Going through this with others makes it a little easier, even when the thoughts come knockin’ on our doors.

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