Showing compassion towards yourself and others is a skill, not an innate ability, that can be practiced through loving-kindness meditation.
By regularly practicing loving-kindness meditation, a kind attitude can be cultivated. Mental health and positive thinking are improved. Self-criticism, stress, and depression are reduced. (1)
Every mind has many voices – some are discouraging and hateful. Each voice of the mind, feeling, or sensation influences our brain chemicals.
Discovering how to evoke feelings of compassion while envisioning kind wishes can help us feel more connected to ourselves and others.
Loving-kindness meditation is a simple practice that can be done for a little as 15 minutes a day.
Tara Brach, psychologist and meditation teacher, suggests that “starting [loving] the life inside of yourself” is the first step to learning how to be compassionate toward others.
Here will we outline what loving-kindness is, the mental health benefits of loving-kindness meditation, and how to practice this type of meditation.
What is Loving-Kindness Meditation?
Loving-kindness meditation is formally named Metta Meditation. A pillar of Buddhist meditation was built around this concept of compassion and universal kindness.
Modernly loving-kindness meditation is also used in a secular fashion to invoke the same feelings of loving awareness and compassion.
Loving-kindness is wishing yourself and others to be happy. Whereas compassion is wishing yourself and others to be free from suffering. These two halves of one coin can be practiced during a single meditation or during different sessions.
Both loving-kindness and compassion meditations support other forms of meditation, like mindfulness meditation.
Typically, the practice starts with warm wishes towards oneself then spirals outward to loved ones, acquaintances, difficult people, and strangers. Eventually encompassing all of life.
In American culture, starting with oneself may be difficult due to the prominence of self-hate. Starting with looking at oneself through the eyes of a loved one may be a more gentle place to begin.
Mental Health Benefits of Loving Kindness Meditation
Studying loving-kindness meditation can be tricky. Most evidence is empirical, based on observation or experience rather than theory or pure logic.
Emma Seppala is the Science Director for the Stanford Center For Compassion and Altruism Research and Education as well as the Co-Director of Wellness at Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence. She is fascinated by the psychology of happiness and positive wellbeing.
In her article on the science-backed benefits of loving-kindness, she outlines how loving-kindness increases wellbeing, emotional intelligence, healing, resilience to stress, social connection, and self-love. (3)
Increase Positive Emotions and Overall Wellbeing
Positive emotions naturally increase in daily life through a regular practice of loving-kindness. (4) Loving-kindness meditation helps cultivate peaceful and pro-social emotions, according to a scientific review of over 24 studies. (4)
One study shows that practicing loving-kindness resulted in increases overtime of daily positive emotions, which ultimately impacted overall wellbeing. (6)
Participants experienced increased total life satisfaction and reduced depressive symptoms though increasing mindfulness, life purpose, and social support while decreasing illness symptoms. (6)
Each of these satisfying life resources was developed as a result of loving-kindness meditation.
Enhance Emotional Processing and Empathy
A peer-reviewed paper on loving-kindness for psychological interventions looked at how the brain changed through brain imaging.
These studies suggested that loving-kindness may increase activation in brain areas involved in emotional processing and empathy. (5)
Emotional processing is measured by how well a person handles stressful or extreme events and moves past them. Many mental health disorders, like anxiety disorders and depression, have biased processing of emotional information.
Increasing the ability to manage emotional information healthily can positively affect our experience with stressful information.
Loving-kindness may be a potentially positive approach for different psychological disorders that involve interpersonal processes like depression, social anxiety, and anger. (5)
Reduce Self Criticism
Self-criticism is a vulnerability risk factor for many psychological disorders. (7) Loving-kindness has been shown to reduce self-criticism and increase self-compassion, especially in individuals prone to criticize. (7)
Shahar, a professor of clinical-health and developmental-health psychology and author of a book on self-criticism, explains the damaging effects of self-criticism to US News.
“Self-criticism is a trait that has been shown to lead to numerous forms of psychopathology: depression, anxiety, eating disorders, bipolar disorder symptoms,” Shahar says.
By reducing self-criticism through loving-kindness meditation, positive self-talk, and healthier coping mechanisms can emerge.
Quick Take | Loving-Kindness Meditation Benefits:
- Increase positive emotions
- Grow overall wellbeing
- Enhance emotional processes
- Increase empathy
- Improve social connection
- Reduce Self Criticism
- Increase compassion towards oneself and others
How to Practice Loving Kindness Meditation
Like many meditation practices, the method of loving-kindness is easy. What is difficult is execution and consistency.
Loving-kindness meditation can sometimes feel slightly robotic due to the repetition of particular phrases that may initially feel uncomfortable. This is completely normal.
Remember, loving-kindness is a skill. With practice, the repetitions will begin to feel less awkward and more compassionate.
How long to practice?
Fifteen minutes a day of practice is suggested by the Greater Good Science Center of Berkley. (2)
Starting a daily meditation practice can be overwhelming at first, this guided article will help you determine a structure to keep you accountable and on track!
Set up the practice:
Find a comfortable and quiet seat where you can be alert. You can sit on a pillow on the floor, in a chair, on a couch with your legs outstretched – anywhere you will be comfortable while still being able to stay awake.
Finding a seat that isn’t too cozy can help combat sleepiness that may arise with relaxation.
Who to think of (in order):
Yourself, a loved one, an extended circle of friends, people whom you feel neutral towards, strangers, people who you feel negative towards
Sam Harris is an American author, neuroscientist, philosopher, and seasoned meditation practitioner.
In his Waking Up meditation app, he suggests starting this practice with yourself through the eyes of a loved one.
For instance, picture yourself through the eyes of your best friend. In self-critical societies like the USA, starting loving-kindness meditation with yourself may be challenging to evoke compassion.
Steps of Loving-Kindness Meditation
- Sit comfortably, set a timer for your practice, and close your eyes.
- Take a few deep breaths to settle into the practice.
- Picture yourself (or another individual) in your mind as you are now or as a small child.
- Repeat the following phrases (or phrases that mean the same thing but feel more natural for you) on your in-breath and out-breath :
- In-breath (loving-kindness):
- May you be filled with loving-kindness.
- May you be healthy in the body and mind.
- May you be happy.
- Out-breath (compassion):
- May you be free from suffering.
- May you be safe.
- In-breath (loving-kindness):
- Repeat these phrases for at least five breath cycles before moving to the next person.
Guided Loving-Kindness Meditations
If following guided loving-kindness meditation is more your style, check out the few below from leading meditation teacher.
Loving-Kindness FAQ
Formally named Metta Meditation, loving-kindness is used to send warm wishes of love, goodwill, positivity, and happiness to yourself and/or others by silently repeating phrases or mantras.
Sit comfortably, set a timer for your practice, and close your eyes. Picture yourself or another person. On your in-breath internally repeat a phrase that sends warm wishes on your out-breath repeat a phrase that reduces suffering.
– Increase positive emotions
– Grow overall wellbeing
– Enhance emotional processes
– Increase empathy
– Improve social connection
– Reduce Self Criticism
– Increase compassion towards oneself and others
Metta Prayer or Metta Meditation is the formal title for Loving-Kindness Meditation where you send warm wishes of love to yourself and/or others by silently repeating phrases or mantras.
